Intro: Warning, Senselessness Ahead
Stressed about Proposing to Dr. Lynn
It was ok in the end
Dr. Lynn asked me if I got the grant. This confused me, until he explained. I forgot he sent me the grant he was writing, but I hadn't checked my Emory email, because I was too scared that he'd replied to my note about me being sick and didn't want to see what he said. [I worried for nothing. He didn't reply to that. Which makes me think he was probably annoyed.]
I said I hadn't looked at it, but when I explained my idea, he said that's what he proposed on! O.o I'm so glad I didn't look at it. I worried he wouldn't believe me and think I stole his idea, but he seemed not to think this, which is a relief. That would be pretty dumb of me to do anyway. I really didn't know. He also proposed on the double tube idea. Thinking about that again, I bet it would make a neat drill, if you could functionalize the inner one with metallic nanoparticles and rotate it. We talked about that too. Kornelia and Noel walked by, whiling I was talking. Kornelia jumped back in the doorway to wave spastically at me with this gigantic grin.
Talking to Kornelia and Noel
Dr. Lutz's lab safety training
I really like Dr. Lutz - I really do. I enjoy listening to him. So I was actually kind of looking forward to the safety training, believe it or not. He's so passionate about it, it makes it fun to listen to. And then I get interested in knowing safety things and being safer, which I should, so it's good all-around. He talked about the incidents that happened at Emory in 2013, none of which I really knew about - so this fascinated me. I now know that I need to make sure to read the Lab Rat and make SURE to keep wearing safety goggles all the time. They are the one thing sometimes I don't do.
I worry about having offended Dr. Lutz too, since I'm pretty sure he wanted me to rotate with him, and then I completely did not. I was extremely illogical and rotated with Scarborough. I hope he doesn't hold this against me. He's one of my favorite people. I wish I could convince myself that he's not annoyed with me and convince him that I think he's great. You know what? Reading this, I just realize, I worry way too much about everything and especially that people are mad at me. I should pray about that. Seriously. I need to cut that out.
Dr. Lutz asked me during his talk, "Do you know who the safety officer in the Salaita lab is??" I pointed to Kornelia immediately. I was very glad he said the Salaita lab and not the Lynn lab, because I didn't know who the safety officer in the Lynn lab is. But I felt badly for Dr. Lynn, who was standing right there. O.o I found it amusing that Dr. Lutz apparently associates me with Dr. Salaita even though I've been with Dr. Lynn four weeks. Khalid talked to us about safety at least once, maybe twice while I was there. *thumbs up* He's on top of things. After the meeting, I asked Dr. Lynn who their safety officer is and it's Chenrui - so now I know.
The speaker, Dr. Stubbe
I was really worried I wouldn't be able to find the room and would somehow miss it, since it was in the theology building rather than chemistry. But, I followed the Weinert people (who didn't know where the room was either) and we ended up in a huge mess of professors. So, I was comforted. Always follow the professors. They probably know where they are going.
My favorite part was one of the metaphors to describe covalent inhibitors - she likened them to the enzymes pulling a grenade on themselves and blowing themselves up - and also, the part about the long range oxidation over 35 A. The way she described it, I could see why that would be such a knotty problem and it was quite intriguing.
I coughed during the entire time and felt badly about that, but I ran out of cough drops and there was nothing I could do. I wished I could have asked an intelligent question, but that room was scary. All the professors were lined up in front and I felt like - no way am I asking anything. I feel like the professors blend in better in A316, so I forget they are there. I also feel like I have so much biology in me, but little real chemistry reaction smarts, so if I ask something chemistry related, there's a good chance it's a terrible question. At Emory, I feel mostly like a biologist, wannabe chemist that's sneaked into the chemistry program. I respect chemists so much more than biologists. But I feel like, I'll never really belong. I REALLY want to though. I hope I'll learn proper chemistry - something really - I don't know - things I need to know, so that someday, I can really call myself a chemist. I'm probably just being silly. But - I'd feel so much better to be known as a chemist than to be known as a biologist. To me, being called a biologist is an insult. I feel badly to insult biologists by saying this - I apologize. I associate more critical and detailed thinking with chemistry. Biology can occasionally be hand-wavey about things, which annoys me to no end.
I saw Dr. Salaita before the talk and he said hi but seemed stressed or unhappy to me - to which my immediate reaction was of course - OH NO! *go into panic* That of course, was all for nothing too. It bothered me anyway through at least 1/2 of the talk. I thought - well, the Lord has now shown me I'm too worried about Dr. Salaita and not focused on Him, so I prayed He'd fix that for me - and He helped a lot. I only worried about it through one HALF of the talk.
I asked Khalid about the Spain trip after, because I was dying to ask this. I'm always curious about strange places people go and Spain, to me, sounds like it would be a pretty strange, interesting place. I've always wondered what it's like. EVERY time I think about Spain, I think about King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella who sponsored Columbus. Literally. That's instantly what comes to mind to me when someone says "Spain." That's a pretty out-dated association. He said the scientists spoke English but not the general populace so much, which is the impression I get about Spain. I didn't finish asking all my Spain questions. They got interrupted by Thanksgiving questions, but that's ok.
He asked if I wanted to talk to the speaker. I could have - but I didn't feel worthy to talk to her - and my chemistry knowledge is inferior, even than most people's. Besides, if I did, then Khalid would surely have left. Khalid wins over speaker. But even if I could have been sure he wouldn't have left, I think I'd still have been too scared to talk to her.
He also mentioned that Ian did another experiment! I did not know this. I'll have to remind him to send me the gel - he probably forgot. I have to look at the other gel and remember what I thought about it. I wanted to talk more about this and the Spain questions - but the elevator intervened.
Elevators. Those great conversations stoppers. This happens to me all the time. I'll be having some interesting discussion with a classmate or Dr. Weinert, or Kevin or SOMEbody and the elevator comes or leaves, spoiling said discussion. Conclusion: We should invent telepathy. Maybe through nanobots in our brains. Yes. Nanobots that synchronize to our brain waves patterns and transmit them to others. I'll invent that in my spare time, while I'm working on the peptide nanotubes.
Getting messy food
Afterward, I worked on grading some orgo TA stuff ... WHICH IS GOING SO SLOWLY!! *headdesk* I was really just mad/cranky, because I kept coughing all the time, and it was making me feel sick to my stomach so I couldn't eat more, though I was still hungry, and I wasn't getting NEARLY enough work done, and the work I was getting done, I didn't want to do. I wanted to sleep. So I was just annoyed altogether. Hence the "cranky wife" syndrome, I told John about. I went and got some cough drops and such things at Walgreens. I hope it helps. My cough is incredibly irritating and feels fruitless half the time. I just have to remember to take Mucinex. It's starting to get into my lungs. Hopefully it'll be fine, but pray I can get rid of it. I don't want bronchitis.