I got up feeling rather ill. It turned out to be 11:45 a.m. and I groaned. I realized today though that I felt as if, at the most illogical time, when I'm busiest, the Lord didn't want me to do anything today. I was supposed to rest. This is one of the Lord's commands I most frequently ignore - a day of rest. When I do listen, I think He takes care of me. Probably, I will accomplish more in one day than I would have in two, simply because I will have more rest this way. I don't know. Maybe not. I'm just trusting He'll take care of me. I try to do this at least in part, either Saturday or Sunday - it doesn't matter which to me - for this week, it was Saturday.
Exodus 31:16-17
"Therefore the children of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, to observe the Sabbath throughout their generations as a perpetual covenant. 17 It is a sign between Me and the children of Israel forever; for in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day He rested and was refreshed.’”
23 Now it happened that He went through the grainfields on the Sabbath; and as they went His disciples began to pluck the heads of grain. 24 And the Pharisees said to Him, “Look, why do they do what is not lawful on the Sabbath?”
25 But He said to them, “Have you never read what David did when he was in need and hungry, he and those with him:26 how he went into the house of God in the days of Abiathar the high priest, and ate the showbread, which is not lawful to eat except for the priests, and also gave some to those who were with him?”
27 And He said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath. 28 Therefore the Son of Man is also Lord of the Sabbath.”
After I posted those things, I spent time alone with Him - something I've not done enough of last week - and asked Him some things - so was this You? What are you doing? What do you want? Am I doing the right things? Kind of sort of anyway - more or less - that's what I asked.
All last week, I was asking Him things occasionally, telling Him I just didn't understand what He was doing and why it seemed some things I asked Him for took a long time and others didn't. I had forgotten that I'd asked Him those things. But when I came to Him tonight, He reminded me of those questions I'd been asking before and started telling me things that I didn't expect - He didn't answer everything - but He gave me just enough to quiet my worry, frustration and confusion. He opened my eyes to a different perspective I wasn't seeing before - sometimes - I only see things out of one side, my own view - and I can't imagine any other lens. But He slid a new one in front of me. I was like ... " ... oh, so that's why things take longer than I think. I didn't see that before. I couldn't even imagine it that way before. Now it makes sense."
So, I posted those things because I felt He wanted me to. Then I asked Him about it, and He told me things I didn't expect and told me not to worry about the posts, because it was His business - more or less, that's what the gist of it was.
I really think He's up to something amazing. God always is, yes? I don't know all the pieces. But I trust Him enough to know that He does. He knows just the perfect time for everything. He knows how it all fits together. Nothing is ever early or late - He always places the next piece exactly where it needs to go and right on time. He's way better at it than me. So, there's nothing I need to worry about.
I could worry about all the work I have to do. Or worry about people at Emory, all of whom I've come to love very much. But, the Lord is taking care of us, I think. I know next week will be insane. But, the Lord will be there in the insanity. I pray He makes me like an eye in the storm. I'll just try to submit myself to Him and follow His lead as best as I can. That's all I can do, after all.
I love what Mark Batterson said, about how following the Lord is never boring. It's so true. And the wind comment. I love how the fall is so windy! The fall is pretty much my favorite season. It feels SO good outside. I feel like following the Lord is like releasing oneself into the wind and those who do so take on some of the unpredictability of the Lord, because, it's impossible to say what He'll tell you do next. But it's always interesting. And, He's not going to lead people off cliffs. He's not malicious or sadistic. He's very wise and He loves us a lot more, I think, than most people would ever believe. I still don't understand it.
Often times, people think that if they follow God, He'll make them do something horrible. I don't think that's true. I used to think that as a kid. But, I read once in a book somewhere that if you chases happiness, it'll run from you. But if you chase God, happiness will follow you. That is a lot truer, I've come to see, than I originally anticipated. The rest of the world, in the hands of the enemy, tries to distract us from the Lord by pleasures that purport to satisfy but don't. They're mirages. Illusions. It's hard to believe that at first perhaps. But I think the more one lives life, the more obvious this becomes. I've found it to be so.
Anyhow, that's some stuff from today. I have to go to bed earlier tonight. Maybe I won't feel as ill tomorrow.