Finding some community
Lost and found
I think the Lord likes us to be obedient to what we do know. He's been telling me to look for Him and I didn't want to because I had given up. I didn't think He was possible to find for me any more. I almost gave up again today. But then, I went and did what He said.
He showed me the importance of obedience and believing in the promises He's set forth in Scripture. Something important clicked in me and I finally have found a measure of peace. After reading Nehemiah some, I started reading Andrew Murray's book that I've felt as if I should read for some time. The Lord teaches me best through Scripture and books. But I wasn't doing it. Finally I took a peek today.
Murray spoke of being obedient to the Lord's promptings, confessing our need of Him, believing firstly, that the Lord has put His Spirit within us as His Word says, and waiting on Him in silence. It put a lot of things together for me that I already knew. We are completely and totally dependent on God and are to live every moment out of faith. Only then can the Spirit's power be available to us, it would seem. The moment we look away, quit stepping out in obedience and give up or turn our eyes to ourselves or whatever else, we dry up inside. That's what has happened to me.
Pray with me that the Lord will teach me to turn my eyes to Him again and allow HIM to teach me how to hear Him, however He wants to, and how to wait on the Spirit, trust in His promises and believe Him for bigger and better things. Then, stop and watch Him work.
I don't know anything, but I have this hope and His promise to cling to. I'll start with that and see what else He brings.
~ Jess
Appendix
I encourage you to read this cool book The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee as well as The Spirit of Christ by Andrew Murray. Both are intriguing and have given me a lot of food for thought. Maybe they wouldn't be useful to you, but I find I learn the best in books.