Today, I realized there were some other things I needed to write. While the pastor was speaking, I practically felt things jump out at me and the Lord grabbing me by the shoulders and saying, “You WILL write this.” And I was like … (!) “I WILL write this!” I don’t know why. I just feel as if He wants me to.
Yesterday: a few more things
Lord, why don’t you give me all of Yourself now?
So last night, I forgot to mention some things the Lord said. I’m always asking Him to give me more of Himself and I always wonder why it takes so long. “Lord, why don’t you give me all of yourself right NOW?” *almost pouty face* I didn’t ask Him that last night. It wasn’t on my mind. But He addressed it anyway, so I probably needed to hear it.
What He told me made me laugh – I feel like He has a sense of humor. I never really thought about it before this way. He said (as He often does) that He is showing me more of Himself every day. But He cannot show me Himself all at once. He must first prepare me to receive Him. Otherwise, I’d be overwhelmed, shocked and consumed, and He doesn’t want that.
I considered this. *tilts head thinking* And I thought …. he he he he … He’s probably right about that. I never thought about that before. I can just imagine it:
“Lord, give me all of yourself!”
“Ok”
*BOOM* *gigantic, all-consuming fire consumes the space around me*
*crispy piece of Jessica on the ground*
Oops. Maybe I don’t know what I’m asking. But God in His wisdom, does understand my lack of understanding, and wisely doesn’t give me what I ask, exactly. He says He wants me to slowly be acclimated to Him, soaking more of Him in, until I’m wholly like Him. He gives me a new piece, as I can receive it. That makes sense. But I didn’t see it like that until last night, really.
The Lord has cleansed me from my sin, wrong doing and erroneous ways
I have struggled with this a long time – how can I possibly be forgiven of all my sin when I keep messing up? It’s hard for me to understand, even though I know it’s true. So, while I *know* it, I don’t always *feel* it, if you know what I mean.
Last night, the Lord gave me a chemistry example to describe this, which deeply amused me. He said He’d forgiven me Himself and who was there who could condemn? (Romans 8:34) Who will dredge the sins back up? You can’t. He said, “I’ve destroyed them, in a chemical reaction, as it were. I’ve reacted the blackness of your sin with Myself and ‘chemically altered it,’ so it is no longer there and changed it into the pure whiteness of my righteousness. It cannot be found because it no longer exists; it's no longer the same substance. This is something you already have and are stepping into.”
The Lord forgives a person of their sin – past, present, and future – all at once, because He is outside of time. It is very hard for the human mind to understand, but He said, He would keep lovingly explaining this to me and one day, I would really understand.
This example made a lot more sense to me – previously, I always imagined the Lord throwing away our sins a long way away.
Psalms 103:10-13
"For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
13 As a father pities his children,
So the Lord pities those who fear Him."
Today
Today, I updated Esther about things the Lord was doing and we prayed for each other. I started feeling so excited! I don’t know why – I just feel EXCITED! As if, good things are happening – I can feel it in the air. All last week, the Lord was very insistently telling me to watch Him, what He was showing me, people He was bringing to me, saying – “Watch! Watch me, what I’m about to do!”
And Esther even texted me with, “Jessica, the Lord told me this morning, He’s answering your prayer to see what He’s doing and He wants you to watch carefully for Him!” I was like – huh – He must really want me to watch. *eyes peeled* What, what? What am I missing? *peeks around corners curiously, interestedly*
He did bring lots of people to me last week. Perhaps He just wants me to be more aware of His Presence over me each day. I don’t know, but I almost feel power coming down again or about to come down – some kind of charge in the air. I feel as if something good is about to happen, but I don’t know what it is! And it makes me VERY happy and excited. I almost don’t even care about all the terrifying things I have to do this next week. *grins*
Pastor Jeff’s Sermon Today, Intro
While I was listening to Pastor Jeff, I could see and feel things exploding in my mind, as if God were saying, “You will write that later – and that – and THAT,” and I was writing notes furiously. So, here is some of what Pastor Jeff said that the Lord wanted me to write.
Pastor Jeff’s Sermon Today: What does it look like to live confidently?
What does it look like to live confidently as a follower of Chirsti? It’s about what we place our confidence in – what are we building our confidence upon in life?
Our confidence is in Christ.
Philippians 1:1-6, "Paul and Timothy, bondservants of Jesus Christ,To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, with the bishops[a] and deacons: 2 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 3 I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, 4 always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, 5 for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;"
Grace - what is it? Grace is God doing for us what we cannot do for ourselves.
In every other world religion, one tries to please God, placate him, manipulate him so that he owes us, enough to forgive us and tip the scales. But when is it that we've done enough to earn His favor? That is the most cruel kind of God, because, if we're trying to balance out the scales, the bad we've done with good, at the end of the day, how do we know that we've done enough? It turns out, we can't do enough. It's impossible.
So what's impossible for us, what we could never do for ourselves, He does does it for us - He tips the scales in our favor Himself. We are fully dependent on the grace of God in our lives. We do not deserve anything. The Lord illustrates this in several parables.
Matthew 15:1-3; 11-24
Then all the tax collectors and the sinners drew near to Him to hear Him. 2 And the Pharisees and scribes complained, saying, “This Man receives sinners and eats with them.” 3 So He spoke this parable to them, saying: [...]
11 Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. 13 And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. 14 But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. 15 Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, 19 and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’
20 “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring[b] out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. 23 And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; 24 for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.
Matthew 9:10-12, "10 Now it happened, as Jesus sat at the table in the house, that behold, many tax collectors and sinners came and sat down with Him and His disciples. 11 And when the Pharisees saw it, they said to His disciples, “Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”
12 When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’[b] For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”[c]
Luke 18:9-14, "9 Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: 10 'Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ 13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.'”
When we ask, realizing we can do nothing, we get grace - that's what God gives us - what we most desperately need in our lives - and with grace, we get peace - His peace.
John 14:26-27, "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Matthew 8:23-27, "23 Now when He got into a boat, His disciples followed Him. 24 And suddenly a great tempest arose on the sea, so that the boat was covered with the waves. But He was asleep. 25 Then His disciples came to Him and awoke Him, saying, “Lord, save us! We are perishing!”
26 But He said to them, 'Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?' Then He arose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. 27 So the men marveled, saying, 'Who can this be, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?'"
Romans 5:1-11, "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope.5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
6 For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him. 10 For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. 11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation."
Ephesians 2:4-10, "But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, 5 even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), 6 and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 that in the ages to come He might show the exceeding riches of His grace in His kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8 For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not of works, lest anyone should boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them."
Salvation is a point, a process and a promise.
Philippians 1:6, "...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ."
Philippians 2:13, "...for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure."
Songs from Service with Lyrics That Are Wonderful
Can you hear it?
The gentle voice of the Spirit
There's no reason to fear it
He's calling You to life
Just surrender
Run into the arms of the Father
The night is finally over
Take a step into the light
This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing
This is the day
The day when life begins
Can you see it?
A light shines into the darkness
Bringing hope to the hopeless
It's leading you to life
This is the day
When all your sins are washed away
In the waves of His unending grace
Forever you're alive
This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing?
This is the day
The day when life begins
Have no fear salvation has come
And He is here
Have no fear salvation has come
And He is here
Have no fear
Have no fear
This is the day when the lost are found
This is your beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, I can hear the angels sing
This is the day when the lost are found
This is the day for a new beginning
Amazing grace how sweet the sound
Oh, can you hear all the angels are singing?
This is the day
The day when life begins
You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost its sting
Oh, I'm running to Your arms,
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign
My heart will sing
no other Name
Jesus, Jesus
Oh, I'm running to Your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
There is strength within the sorrow, There is beauty in our tears
You meet us in our mourning, With a love that casts out fear
You are working in our waiting, Sanctifying us
When beyond our understanding, You’re teaching us to trust
CHORUS
Your plans are still to prosper, You have not forgotten us
You’re with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, Perfect in love
You are sovereign over us
You are wisdom unimagined, Who could understand your ways
Reigning high above the heavens, Reaching down in endless grace
Youʼre the Lifter of the lowly, Compassionate and kind
You surround and You uphold me, Your promises are my delight
Even what the enemy means for evil
You turn it for our good, You turn it for our good and for your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
Youʼre working for our good, Youʼre working for our good and for your glory.
FIN
I don't know what God is doing, but I think it'll be GREAT! I think this next week will be great! I can't WAIT to see what happens and what He does and tell Esther about it, and Pastor Jeff and lots of people, because God is always doing such exciting things! I'm keeping my eyes peeled for it. He asked me to - so I will! That's all for now. Got lots to do!