Beginning. I had stopped reading the Scripture for a time, being discouraged. But I decided that that was counter-productive, obviously. I didn’t know what to read – anything seemed somewhat painful to me, for some reason – so I have started on Psalms, in the middle at Psalm 100 (since I always start at the beginning).
Persuasion. I am pursued that Jesus is the Son of God, that He died for me, that He wrote His Scripture, which we have and speaks through it. I didn’t always know how dependent I was on Him. When people used to say that we are dependent on Him for everything, I thought – sure – but really, I thought in my heart that I had some good things that were just me and not Him. I now know that is not true. Literally everything good I have ever done, said, see, have or do is all and only from Him. I need Him to live every day and for everything. I have no self-confidence, because what I do isn't good enough. But I think I've had it backwards. I need to get my self-confidence from Him, and as He works in me, I'll trust Him to do what I so fruitlessly cannot.
Peace. It seems right to trust the Lord. It feels good to. It doesn’t matter that many times I think I shall never know Him, and shall never get anywhere. I’ll leave that up to Him. That’s His business – of course I cannot know Him myself – I cannot do anything myself. I don’t know the future. And if I never do, I’d rather I spent my time with Him anyway, than forgetting Him, because He deserves nothing less. And He gives me peace, when I trust Him. It’s always been so and is my most precious gift from Him.
Daily Life. I pray that He can enter into my daily activities. I will try to look for Him in the day too, knowing all good things come from Him. I’ve been reading Confessions of St. Augustine some. What amazing praise He gave the Lord – it really touches me.
I come to the Lord again as an infant, untaught, with nothing and having nothing. Thank you Lord, for this day. How glad I am to spend it thinking of You.