Intro: Discovery writing means whatever comes to mind
Mom also cleaned up the yard today and talked about more renovations that she was planning for the future grand kids. It was fun to think about all the times I'd played as a kid around that big yard, walking around it this evening. She was showing me what she did. All the trees are SO huge! I remember this one pine tree when it was a baby twig in our sandbox, and now its stump is about a foot across and its roots are pulling up our old tree house.
Oma and Aunt Susan: Oma continues to get better and heal from her hip surgery. Aunt Susan broke her foot while trying to hula hoop, but she saw a doctor today who is helping her out. She'll have to have out patient surgery. It's good it happened at the beginning of summer so that she can rest.
Habits of thought - thinking about God and life again
As I worry about them all, I pray. It is said that worriers can be great prayers - every time you worry - turn it into a prayer. I try to do that, and it helps, so I end up praying a lot sometimes. It might sound as if I'm constantly praying, which is not true. I want to. But, oddly enough, it's getting to be more so that if I'm not praying, I'm thinking about Him and looking to Him. I'm really glad for this change in me. It wasn't always so much so and I think it helps with worrying. When I have an explosion of worry without thinking of Him, that's when I plummet into depression.
I know that God is with me, but not much else
But I've gotten used to the not knowing part. It's ok. At times, I have bouts of intense frustration, sadness, worry, fears - but fortunately not all at once. All that's pretty normal anyway. I give those to Him and He helps me deal with them. And, I'm considerable more grounded and less disturbed. Grappling with questions wrecked me for some time, but I've almost come back to 'normal' for me, which is good.