I was completely exhausted this morning - for some reason, I didn't sleep well - and John is feeling thoroughly like crap. I was overwhelmed, feeling defeated and a failure at life in general, stressing about that midterm, the presentation for bioorganic and the trip and worrying about all the work I wasn't getting done. I bought ink for my printer, ironed some shirts for John and was printing biomolecular notes. I was trudging around, discouraged and literally felt like I had mono again - good grief. Mom gave me some English breakfast tea.
And then suddenly, at 3 p.m., I started feeling better - less tired, more peaceful, stronger and some of the stress fell off me. I don't know what happened - it was odd. I wonder, if some mysterious person was praying for me - because that's what it felt like. The Lord shifted things.
Prayer with Esther
I met with Esther at 3:15 p.m. to pray. We both needed it. She's been thorough a lot lately - her husband Edward had a toe amputated and she's been at the hospital night and day for nine days through the surgery and while he recovers. It was a really good time of prayer. I felt much better afterward and stronger and so did she.
A Few Prayer Requests for the Week
Now I'm working on stuff, for the rest of the day. Sometimes, when I get panicked, I feel helpless, like I'm watching all my time slip through my fingers and I'm powerless to stop it or get anything done. Here's a few prayer requests, in case anyone would like to fight with me in prayer over the next week:
1. That I trust the Lord to carry me and stop being overwhelmed.
2. That the Lord would give me energy, His joy, and I'd really enjoy everything I'm doing, even HW problems.
3. That somehow, I can prioritize my time, get things done and stop being so panicked about it. An addendum to that: that the Lord would help me study for the midterm and get my presentation done, as well as plan the new experiments I need to do in the Lynn lab, which I have no idea how to do yet.
4. That I would spend time with the Lord every day no matter what, see what He wants me to see, be constantly aware of Him and move to His leadership.
5. That John would get better, we could actually spend time together and be more balanced; the Lord would bless the trip and also I'd get some work done during it.
And you know, when I write things down that I'm praying for, about the next week, it's amazing to see how the Lord takes care of them all. He did this specifically two weeks ago, when I recorded prayers for the week - I should find my list later, so I can tell you.
I texted Keon and told him I was going to be praying that we all trust the Lord and let Him carry us - I pray that for everybody - and he agreed wholeheartedly.
Overall, I'm feeling much better. John and I spent some nice time together yesterday and I'll hang out with him this evening studying while he recovers from the cold. I think the Lord knows what He's doing and He's got this stuff. If any mystery people out there have prayed for me - thank you, very, very much. I can feel it.