Intro
What Happened in Brief
When Did This Occur and What Happened – A Recounting
After I had called John several times, confused, he said I didn't sound right and he was going to drive over and get me, and meanwhile, he was going to call the police to come see to me, and take me to the hospital.
I have no desire to describe the delirium I was in – what I thought was going on. Looking back on it, it’s incredibly obvious to me I was so thoroughly off – but at the time, I didn't realize it. I panicked when the police took me to the hospital. I thought I was fine and didn't need to go.
I recall waking up at the hospital and being extremely weak and tired, so much so, I could hardly walk. I think I came off some kind of adrenaline. It was Atlanta medical. They discharged me.
Unfortunately, on the way home, I panicked, because I thought John was going to die in a car wreck. At that time, my dreams were coalescing with reality in some kind of bizarre swirl, and I was jumping at shadows. I ate some dinner. But things just got worse – meaning – I remained incredibly confused. I thought I saw some things in fast motion at the corner of my eye, that slowed down to normal speed when I looked at them. Pretty freaky. In my mind, all the craziness “made sense.”
When I woke up in the morning on Saturday, I was still acting weirdly. So, John and my parents took me to Gwinnett Medical. I’m told that as soon as they hooked me up to saline, I fell asleep immediately.
I thought I remembered the weekend clearly – perfectly clearly – looking back on it. Then, Dad told me that at the hospital, I had said that it was normal for me to cry twice a day. I was like … uh, no … that’s totally wrong. Apparently, I don’t remember it as well as I think I do. I was in a hospital from 12th of January until yesterday afternoon. No electronics, cell phones, laptops or much of anything were allowed.
A Recounting: Shift Back to Sanity
The fixing went something like this….
*click**click**click*[…]*click/snap*
*mind snaps back into place*
*Jess doesn't recognize it competely*
*healing**healing**healing*[…] Wha-? Wait a second
*Jess recognizes it*
Nnngghhhh!! *grabs head as I remember the weekend and what happened, over and over again*
*realization dawns*
NooooOOOoOoOOo!!
*groans*
*sinking feeling of doom*
I’m an idiot.
That’s pretty much what happened.
What I Learned
The doctors say I basically had a nervous breakdown or psychotic break, which apparently means the same thing. They think it’s more likely due to the lack of food, fluids and sleep, plus a susceptibility to being bipolar, more than a buildup of stress that caused it. That’s the official explanation. I’ve no reason to doubt it.
I still don’t understand why on earth that should have happened in the first place. I was incredibly freaked out at first, disbelieving and scared. But, when dehydration was mentioned, I felt better, because that CAN do weird things to you.
And I remembered something similar happened to my mom many years ago, when I was a teenager. She had an incredibly low blood sugar and was pacing back and forth, panicking and delirious. Dad woke us up and told us not to be worried, but he was calling the paramedics to help mom. They came and gave her a shot of glucagon, probably, and she recovered.
What happened to me was *kind of* like a really low blood sugar, except I don’t have diabetes as an excuse. I am never again going to neglect myself that much. Ever. I think I’ve been cured of this neglect, in part. I never want to experience that again or make so many mistakes.
What Happened in the Hospital
John dropped off science articles for me and a Star Wars book, also a SF book I got him that I was curious about. Once I got those, it eased my pain a lot, because I had something to do, and helped me cope with the loneliness and missing of science.
I made a bunch of friends! Lots of the other patients were nice. I gave two guys and my roommate Ashley my email for future contacts. And I could tell that I was being taken care of. Some of the techs were really nice. One of them – Russ – watched over me and the others like a hawk and if I ever had a problem, he’d fix it for me asap. I felt as if he was like a guardian angel. The food wasn’t that bad either. I liked most of it. And one day, they had COOKIES! That made me explode with excitement so much the cafeteria worker looked at me sideways and said he wasn't sure if he should give me any.
What’s Happening Now
Mom made cookies for when I got home. I've devoured dozens. John got me more Dove chocolate and I ate some of that. I've eaten Hersey's chocolate - lots of stuff. And mom and dad also did loads of renovation on our room. They've been so incredibly sweet, beyond what I deserve.
Obviously, mom, dad, James and John thought of lots of good things to help me so that this doesn't happen again. Some of them are as follows:
1) They will all keep and eye on me and make sure to remind me to eat
2) Mom bought me a lot of Ensure to drink as snacks
3) John and I will be joining up with couples ministry in the Grace church to be more connected
4) I may cut back on some things I'd planned on doing, until I know how I am
5) I'll be having follow-ups with the doctor for a while to make sure things are good
6) A few other things too
How I View These Things
1) Everything I thought happened, did – that’s obviously false
2) Everything I thought happened didn’t – this is what I’m going with for now
3) Some things I thought were true and some were not – what is more likely
Basically, it seems as if my dreams good and bad were coalescing and mixing with reality in bizarre ways. However, I cannot tell at which point I started going crazy. Since I was incredibly confused on Monday, I’m just taking the entire week to have been a crazy week, even though that might not be *completely* true. I do not trust myself right now to discern what is right and what isn’t. I’m still planning on eventually back tracking the week and asking John – so … did this really happen? Ok. That happened. What about this? Because literally, it’s hard for me to tell.
So, for now, I self-destruct that week and go back to the last thing I know for sure. *wipes everything off the table of the mind with a swish* *lays down a fresh table cloth* *looks at it suspiciously, as if the table might grow legs and run away*
Things I AM completely sure about include everything last year that I wrote about and posted – even though it sounded crazy – no, that happened. And on Saturday the 4th, I did connect with the Lord much more deeply. That also happened. The rest afterward went downhill from there. Only the Lord knows why.
What the Lord Is Doing - No Idea and I'm Ok with That
For now, I intended to thoroughly enjoy and savor the little things that I love and missed SO incredibly much – such as John, my family, and science. This made me realize how much I love these things. I was like – what was I doing – oh yeah! HOLY CRAP – I love John … A LOT. I LOVE SCIENCE! Please don’t take my science away, please, please!!
*finally gets out*
*clings to John*
*dashes toward science and clings to it like mad*
*jumps around in the open air smiling at the sun*
I’ll keep in mind to try not to go overboard. I kind of feel like Nebuchadnezzar, who had his mind taken away and given back to him. I can guess what maybe he felt like, in a microcosm kind of way. Mine was only for 1.5 weeks rather than seven years.
Blessings and FIN
Blessings that happened that are real include…
1) John got a name plate on his desk
2) My mom got more time off work and my dad solved the disaster at his company.
3) James built his supercomputer and it runs like a charm.
4) Gokul did give me that cool virology textbook link.
5) Marika’s advice about joining Pi Alpha seems sound and I might take her up on that eventually
6) I got glasses today and contacts for a good price and faster than I’ve ever ordered them before.
I’m very excited about the glasses. They are in a great color - graphite - which is a frosted bronze that matches my hair. My old glasses are 3-4 years old and very scratched and yellowed. I plan on getting some daily wear contacts I can throw away after use for special occasions. I might even alternate contacts and glasses. I typically don't wear contacts, even though I can see so much better, because they irritate and dry my eyes too much. These though, who knows? I'll never wear them more than glasses however. It's just, I might ACTUALLY wear these, which is pretty cool. The convenience is nice.
So, overall I’m good. I picked out some songs today that really spoke to me and seemed to fit for right now. Also, I’ve posted some Scripture that I thought about this morning.
Unfortunately, I’ve lost much of the confidence I once had in myself – not visibly – but internally. I don’t trust myself and, though I feel normal, I’m shaky and somewhat scared. It’s going to take me a long time to heal from this and be completely sure of myself again. Probably about a year, but we’ll see.
I would appreciate all your continued prayers and thanks to everyone who prayed and told me they were praying. It meant a lot to me – a whole lot. Thank you so much.
Appendix: Devotional and Scripture
Evidence of His Love
The dove could not find a resting place for its feet because water still covered the surface of the entire earth, and so it returned to Noah in the ark. He stretched out his hand, took the dove, and brought it back into the ark. He waited seven more days and then sent out the dove again from the ark. When the dove returned to him in the evening, there was a freshly plucked olive leaf in its beak! Noah knew that the waters had receded from the earth.—Gen 8:9-11 NET
God knows just when to withhold from us any visible sign of encouragement, and when to grant us such a sign. How good it is that we may trust Him anyway! When all visible evidences that He is remembering us are withheld, that is best; He wants us to realize that His Word, His promise of remembrance, is more substantial and dependable than any evidence of our senses. When He sends the visible evidence, that is well also; we appreciate it all the more after we have trusted Him without it. Those who are readiest to trust God without other evidence than His Word always receive the greatest number of visible evidences of His love. —C. G. Trumbull
“Believing Him; if storm-clouds gather darkly ’round,
And even if the heaven seem brass, without a sound?
He hears each prayer and even notes the sparrow’s fall.
“And praising Him; when sorrow, grief, and pain are near,
And even when we lose the thing that seems most dear?
Our loss is gain. Praise Him; in Him we have our All.
“Our hand in His; e’en though the path seems long and drear
We scarcely see a step ahead, and almost fear?
He guides aright. He has it thus to keep us near.
“And satisfied; when every path is blocked and bare,
And worldly things are gone and dead which were so fair?
Believe and rest and trust in Him, He comes to stay.”
Delays are not refusals; many a prayer is registered, and underneath it the words: “My time is not yet come.” God has a set time as well as a set purpose, and He who orders the bounds of our habitation orders also the time of our deliverance. —Selected
Philippians 3:14-16
14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Therefore let us, as many as are mature, have this mind; and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal even this to you. 16 Nevertheless, to the degree that we have already attained, let us walk by the same rule,[a] let us be of the same mind.
2 Peter 1:1-11
1 Simon Peter, a bondservant and apostle of Jesus Christ, To those who have obtained like precious faith with us by the righteousness of our God and Savior Jesus Christ:
2 Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord, 3 as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, 4 by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you may be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
Fruitful Growth in the Faith
5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins.
10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble; 11 for so an entrance will be supplied to you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Ecclesiastes 1
The Vanity of Life
1 The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem.
2 “Vanity[a] of vanities,” says the Preacher;
“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”
3 What profit has a man from all his labor
In which he toils under the sun?
4 One generation passes away, and another generation comes;
But the earth abides forever.
5 The sun also rises, and the sun goes down,
And hastens to the place where it arose.
6 The wind goes toward the south,
And turns around to the north;
The wind whirls about continually,
And comes again on its circuit.
7 All the rivers run into the sea,
Yet the sea is not full;
To the place from which the rivers come,
There they return again.
8 All things are full of labor;
Man cannot express it.
The eye is not satisfied with seeing,
Nor the ear filled with hearing.
9 That which has been is what will be,
That which is done is what will be done,
And there is nothing new under the sun.
10 Is there anything of which it may be said,
“See, this is new”?
It has already been in ancient times before us.
11 There is no remembrance of former things,
Nor will there be any remembrance of things that are to come
By those who will come after.
The Grief of Wisdom
12 I, the Preacher, was king over Israel in Jerusalem. 13 And I set my heart to seek and search out by wisdom concerning all that is done under heaven; this burdensome task God has given to the sons of man, by which they may be exercised. 14 I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity and grasping for the wind.
15 What is crooked cannot be made straight,
And what is lacking cannot be numbered.
16 I communed with my heart, saying, “Look, I have attained greatness, and have gained more wisdom than all who were before me in Jerusalem. My heart has understood great wisdom and knowledge.” 17 And I set my heart to know wisdom and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also is grasping for the wind.
18 For in much wisdom is much grief,
And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
Ecclesiastes 2
The Vanity of Pleasure
2 I said in my heart, “Come now, I will test you with mirth; therefore enjoy pleasure”; but surely, this also was vanity. 2 I said of laughter—“Madness!”; and of mirth, “What does it accomplish?” 3 I searched in my heart how to gratify my flesh with wine, while guiding my heart with wisdom, and how to lay hold on folly, till I might see what was good for the sons of men to do under heaven all the days of their lives.
4 I made my works great, I built myself houses, and planted myself vineyards. 5 I made myself gardens and orchards, and I planted all kinds of fruit trees in them. 6 I made myself water pools from which to water the growing trees of the grove. 7 I acquired male and female servants, and had servants born in my house. Yes, I had greater possessions of herds and flocks than all who were in Jerusalem before me. 8 I also gathered for myself silver and gold and the special treasures of kings and of the provinces. I acquired male and female singers, the delights of the sons of men, andmusical instruments[a] of all kinds.
9 So I became great and excelled more than all who were before me in Jerusalem. Also my wisdom remained with me.
10 Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them.
I did not withhold my heart from any pleasure,
For my heart rejoiced in all my labor;
And this was my reward from all my labor.
11 Then I looked on all the works that my hands had done
And on the labor in which I had toiled;
And indeed all was vanity and grasping for the wind.
There was no profit under the sun.
The End of the Wise and the Fool
12 Then I turned myself to consider wisdom and madness and folly;
For what can the man do who succeeds the king?--
Only what he has already done.
13 Then I saw that wisdom excels folly
As light excels darkness.
14 The wise man’s eyes are in his head,
But the fool walks in darkness.
Yet I myself perceived
That the same event happens to them all.
15 So I said in my heart,
“As it happens to the fool,
It also happens to me,
And why was I then more wise?”
Then I said in my heart,
“This also is vanity.”
16 For there is no more remembrance of the wise than of the fool forever,
Since all that now is will be forgotten in the days to come.
And how does a wise man die?
As the fool!
17 Therefore I hated life because the work that was done under the sun was distressing to me, for allis vanity and grasping for the wind.
18 Then I hated all my labor in which I had toiled under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who will come after me. 19 And who knows whether he will be wise or a fool? Yet he will rule over all my labor in which I toiled and in which I have shown myself wise under the sun. This also is vanity.20 Therefore I turned my heart and despaired of all the labor in which I had toiled under the sun.21 For there is a man whose labor is with wisdom, knowledge, and skill; yet he must leave his heritage to a man who has not labored for it. This also is vanity and a great evil. 22 For what has man for all his labor, and for the striving of his heart with which he has toiled under the sun? 23 For all his daysare sorrowful, and his work burdensome; even in the night his heart takes no rest. This also is vanity.
24 Nothing is better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and that his soul should enjoy good in his labor. This also, I saw, was from the hand of God. 25 For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I?[b] 26 For God gives wisdom and knowledge and joy to a man who is good in His sight; but to the sinner He gives the work of gathering and collecting, that he may give to him who is good before God. This also is vanity and grasping for the wind.
Ecclesiastes 3
Everything Has Its Time 3
To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
5 A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
6 A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
7 A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
8 A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,
And a time of peace.
The God-Given Task
9 What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? 10 I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.
12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, 13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God.
14 I know that whatever God does,
It shall be forever.
Nothing can be added to it,
And nothing taken from it.
God does it, that men should fear before Him.
15 That which is has already been,
And what is to be has already been;
And God requires an account of what is past.
Injustice Seems to Prevail
16 Moreover I saw under the sun:
In the place of judgment,
Wickedness was there;
And in the place of righteousness,
Iniquity was there.
17 I said in my heart,
“God shall judge the righteous and the wicked,
For there is a time there for every purpose and for every work.”
18 I said in my heart, “Concerning the condition of the sons of men, God tests them, that they may see that they themselves are like animals.” 19 For what happens to the sons of men also happens to animals; one thing befalls them: as one dies, so dies the other. Surely, they all have one breath; man has no advantage over animals, for all is vanity. 20 All go to one place: all are from the dust, and all return to dust. 21 Who knows the spirit of the sons of men, which goes upward, and the spirit of the animal, which goes down to the earth?[a] 22 So I perceived that nothing is better than that a man should rejoice in his own works, for that is his heritage. For who can bring him to see what will happen after him?
Ecclesiastes 12
The Conclusion
12 Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth,
Before the difficult days come,
And the years draw near when you say,
“I have no pleasure in them”:
2 While the sun and the light,
The moon and the stars,
Are not darkened,
And the clouds do not return after the rain;
3 In the day when the keepers of the house tremble,
And the strong men bow down;
When the grinders cease because they are few,
And those that look through the windows grow dim;
4 When the doors are shut in the streets,
And the sound of grinding is low;
When one rises up at the sound of a bird,
And all the daughters of music are brought low.
5 Also they are afraid of height,
And of terrors in the way;
When the almond tree blossoms,
The grasshopper is a burden,
And desire fails.
For man goes to his eternal home,
And the mourners go about the streets.
6 Remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed,[a]
Or the golden bowl is broken,
Or the pitcher shattered at the fountain,
Or the wheel broken at the well.
7 Then the dust will return to the earth as it was,
And the spirit will return to God who gave it.
8 “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher, “All is vanity.”
The Whole Duty of Man
9 And moreover, because the Preacher was wise, he still taught the people knowledge; yes, he pondered and sought out and set in order many proverbs. 10 The Preacher sought to find acceptable words; and what was written was upright—words of truth. 11 The words of the wise are like goads, and the words of scholars[b] are like well-driven nails, given by one Shepherd. 12 And further, my son, be admonished by these. Of making many books there is no end, and much study is wearisome to the flesh.
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter:
Fear God and keep His commandments,
For this is man’s all.
14 For God will bring every work into judgment,
Including every secret thing,
Whether good or evil.
This is the start of something amazing
A moment when heaven touches earth
Here in our hearts Lord we are waiting
For something that's far beyond what we have seen or heard
Let us start the ascension
Let's begin the climb
Up this holy mountain
Where Your glory shines
Further up, further in
Just to be with You again
Let us start the ascension
We're fixing our eyes on glory and fire
Your name is branded on our hearts
You are the source of all we desire
Nothing can hold us back, we're running to where You are
Let us start the ascension
Let's begin the climb
Up this holy mountain
Where Your glory shines
Further up, further in
Just to be with You again
Let us start the ascension
We run to Your light
Let us start the ascension
Let's begin the climb
Up this holy mountain
Where Your glory shines
Further up, further in
Just to be with You again
Let us start the ascension [x2]
I've had my share of heartache.
I've felt the sting of pain
From standing out in the desert
Praying for rain.
I've seen my lonely teardrops
Fall down my lonely face.
Oh, how I long to hear the
Thunder roll again.
And I want to be
Swept away in Thee.
Only You know what I need.
So, open up the sky, rain down Your love.
I don't care if I never get enough.
I just want to be caught in that flood.
So, open up the sky, yeah,
Open up the sky.
I've had my disappointments.
I've cried a time or two.
These showers of love I long for,
They only come from You.
Now I want to go deeper ,
Fall in over my head.
So, send Your Holy downpour,
And let the healing begin.
And I can't wait
To be swept away.
Only You can stop the pain.
So, open up the sky, rain down Your love.
I don't care if I never get enough.
I just want to be caught in that flood.
So, open up the sky, yeah,
Open up the sky.
Wash me away.
(Wash me, wash me.)
'Cause I don't think I can wait another day.
Open up the sky,
(Open up the sky.)
Rain down Your love.
(Rain down Your love.)
I don't care if I
(I don't care if I.)
Never get enough.
(Never get enough.)
I just want to be caught in that flood.
So open up the sky.
(Open up the sky.)
So, open up the sky, rain down Your love.
I don't care if I never get, never get enough.
I just want to be caught in that flood.
So, open up the sky, yeah,
Open up the sky, yeah,
Open up the sky.
Open up the sky.
Wash me away.
Open up the sky.
Wash me away.
Open up the sky.
Wash me away.
Open up the sky.
Wash me away.
Open up the sky.
Stars call me closer
The earth is dragging me down
I want to be more than hungry
I want to live somewhere other than this old gray town
I want to fly away far beyond my cage
Where I hear freedom singing
You are telling me again there's no door to keep me in
I hear freedom singing
Beauty all around me
Drawing me to the sky
This is life I can feel it
Bid my lonely days goodbye
[CHORUS]
Fly away home, fly away home, fly away home to you...
Bless the Lord O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
The sun comes up
It's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes
Bless the Lord O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
10,000 reasons for my heart to find
Bless the Lord O my soul
O my soul
Worship his holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
10,000 years and then forever more
Bless the Lord O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Bless the Lord O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name (repeat 3x)
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name (repeat 3x)
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It can not hide the Light
Whom shall I fear?
You Crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my Sword and Sheild
Though troubles linger still
Whom shall I fear?
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
My strength is in Your Name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in your hand
I'm holding on to your promises
You are faithful
You ar Faithful
Nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hand
I am holding on to Your promises
You are faithful
You are Faithful
You are Faithful
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side (x2)
The God of Angel Armies
Is always by my side
With this heart open wide
From the depths from the heights
I will bring a sacrifice
With these hands lifted high
Hear my song, hear my cry
I will bring a sacrifice
I will bring a sacrifice
[Chorus:]
I lay me down I’m not my own
I belong to you alone
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart this much is true
There’s no life apart from you
Lay me down, lay me down
Lay me down, lay me down
Letting go of my pride
Giving up all my rights
Take this life and let it shine
Take this life and let it shine
[Chorus:]
I lay me down I’m not my own
I belong to you alone
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart this much is true
There’s no life apart from you
Lay me down, lay me down
Lay me down, lay me down
[Bridge:]
It will be my joy to say Your will Your way
It will be my joy to say Your will Your way
It will be my joy to say Your will Your way always
Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
I come alive, Im alive when you breathe on me
I come alive, Im alive when you breathe on me
Chorus:
Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul
Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
I come alive, Im alive when you speak to me
I come alive, Im alive when you speak to me
Chorus:
Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul
Lecrae:
Then He said to me,
Prophesy to these bones and say to them,
Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!
This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones,
I will make breath into you,
And you will come to life.
So I prophesied as I was commanded.
As I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound,
And the bones came together, bone to bone.
And I looked, and tendons and the flesh appeared on them,
And skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then He said to me,
Prophesy to the breath,
Prophesy, son of man, and say to it,
Come from four winds, oh breath, and breathe.
Chorus:
Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul
Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul
Lecrae:
Yeah, I'm not alone, I realize
I breathe out, I come alive
Your word gives life to my dry bones
Your breath tells death it can ride on
Awake me, make me a living stone,
A testament to your throne, I
Im nothing without you, I'm on my own
The only one who satisfies my soul