My Experience of Jesus
What It Means to Believe in Jesus. Having Jesus as my life means more than simple religion. Religion, with its rules and good deeds, tries to help people make up for the bad they have done. Jesus took away the penalty for my wrongdoing (Rom. 6:23), with His ultimate sacrifice and substitute death on the cross, giving me life for free (Eph.2:8-9; Rom. 10:8-10; John 3). He does this for anyone who calls upon Him, and all I do is merely thanks for His goodness. As I started in faith by choosing Him as Savior, I have been learning to continually live in His power by faith (2 Pet. 1:3-4; Hab. 2:4). I have just begun to appreciate the richness of what He's given me. I look forward to the future adventures!
My Journey with Him in the Last Four Years
Struggles and Look Ahead (2014-2015). As I stepped into 2014, I still longed to know Him better (Ps. 119; Ps. 119:20). In the past, I struggled with that, my place with Him and with things I thought I knew, as I felt the Lord was rebuilding me. He showed me in the beginning of the year, that I was worrying about doing things myself, rather than letting Him take care of it (here). In 2015, He wanted me to fall in love with Him rather than looking at myself and worrying if my relationship with Him will ever be where I thought it should be. So that is what I prayed for. And to my surprise...
The Lord showed me He loves me (2015-2016). The Lord took away my brokenness and reforged me by showing me His love (here)! He healed me of much of the despair I used to live with, as I struggled to seek Him. It is a staggering miracle to me that I am still trying to grasp. I am so eternally grateful that He had such mercy on me (Rom. 8:28). He's in the redeeming business! Though I don't understand everything I want to about life (Ps. 73), I've never trusted Him more thoroughly before. After my pychotic break, I had nothing left, and He gave me back my life and real hope. He continually gives me peace I don't understand (John 14:27) and if He can pull off the miracles like He did for me in grad school, and in 2015, then no other part of my life is impossible for Him to work in. In 2016, I've been living very quietly, attempting to get to know Him better, meditating on His great love and His character. He answered a huge prayer for me, allowing me to get pregnant.
Why do I believe in Jesus? I know the Lord is the Truth, the Way and the Life (John 14:6), from what I have seen Him do in my life and others - answering so many prayers, changing other's lives, and in reading accounts of His work in the world. I also know it through what I've studied of the accuracy of Scripture both in the text and historically. All other religions just don't have the answers that I seek and there is no one who gives life without works like Jesus. So while I don't understand the answer to every question, I still trust Him (Job 13:15). And I know He is the only God and my Savior.
What about you?
Life Verse - John 17:3, "And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent."
John 10:25-27, "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?' She said to Him, 'Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.'”
Ps. 73:22-28, "So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee. 23 Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. 24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. 25 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. 26 My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. 27 For, lo, they that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee. 28 But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works."
Favorite Christian Books/ResourcesScripture Study Resources:
Bible Gateway - an online Bible and Scripture search engine. Includes many different searchable versions, by reference or keyword, all for free.
Strong's Concordance with Greek and Hebrew lexicon - useful for getting into what some passages and/or words mean in their original languages
Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) - where to find a class near you
Our Daily Bread - a devotional webpage, where you can order a free daily devotional
Real Messiah - a website from the Hebrew scholar and Jewish believer in Jesus Dr. Michael Brown, discussing Judaism and the problems created by Jesus, how Jesus can be Messiah, and the objections to His claims
Read His Word - an online Bible reading scheduler that will draw up reading timelines for you, according to the books you chose, length of time and days of the week you enter to read
Favorite Christian Literature:
The Economy of God by Witness Lee - written by a Chinese believer who took an English name, this book has done more than any other to help me understand what it means to walk with God each day by faith. Questions he dives into include, "What is meant by the word 'heart' in the Bible? What are the parts of man? Why do I still sin after I know the Lord?" He takes familiar concepts and explains them in amazing new ways, using Scripture throughout. You can read it online for free! Click the link - on the left side under "All Online Publications," click "Find by Title," then scroll down to "Economy of God, The."
Waking the Dead by John Eldredge - I love Eldredge's works. Here he discusses the walk with God in terms of man's heart, including God's counsel, His healing and restoration, and spiritual warfare. Lee's discussion of the heart is more clear, but Eldredge brings out several invaluable points that really opened my eyes to seeing things differently.
The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence - I want my life to look like this man's. A monk in the 1600s, this very short 96 pg book outlines his thoughts about living a life in constant communion with God
How to Pray by R.A. Torrey - I have not finished this book, but took away many good thoughts from it. The link is to an ebook of it online you can read for free.
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis - A beautiful and short book on faith and the basic tenets of Christian belief. The link goes to a free ebook of it online.
Surprised by Joy - C.S. Lewis's autobiography really touched me. I greatly admire him, both as a scholar and as a believer in Jesus.
How Good is Good Enough? by Andy Stanley - a succinct discussion of one of the most common religious notions. Link goes to pdf of ch. 1 online. OtherMere Christianity - Thoughts
Book II - Ch.1-2 of Mere Christianity - my favorite two chapters of the book; it also discusses Dualism in Ch. 2, which seems to be the religion in Star Wars
SF/Fantasy and Christianity
For a discussion of my philosophy toward mythos, sci-fi/fantasy, God, and whether or not a Christian should read fantasy, click here.
Disclaimer Concerning Brandon Sanderson and Writing Excuses
Although I wildly support Sanderson's literature and Writing Excuses, I am not a Mormon. I hope that's somewhat obvious. :) |
Favorite PoemA Prayer of Praise
October 18, 2010 by Don Yarbrough
He is the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End, The Prayer I Wish to Characterize my Life*This prayer, written on p. 151-152 of 31 Days of Praise by Ruth and Warren Myers, is the most beautiful I have ever read, and the one I'd like to characterize my life.
Your Most Basic Act of Worship
"Lord, I'm Yours. Whatever the cost may be, may Your will be done in my life. I realize I'm not here on earth to do my own thing, or to seek my own fulfillment or my own glory. I'm not here to indulge my desires, to increase my possessions, to impress people, to be popular, to prove I'm somebody important, or to promote myself. I'm not here even to be relevant or successful by human standards. I'm here to please You.
"I offer myself to You, for You are worthy. All that I am or hope to be, I owe to You. I'm Yours by creation, and every day I receive from You life and breath and all things. And I'm Yours because You bought me, and the price You paid was the precious blood of [Messiah]. You alone, the Triune God, are worthy to be my Lord and Master. I yield to You, my gracious and glorious heavenly Father; to the Lord Jesus who loved me and gave Himself for me; to the Holy Spirit and His gracious influence and empowering.
"All that I am and all that I have I give to You. I give you any rebellion in me, which resists doing Your will. I give You my pride and self-dependence, which tell me I can do Your will in my own power if I try hard enough. I give You my fears, which tell me I'll never be able to do Your will in some ares of life. I consent to let You energize me... to create within me, moment by moment, both the desire and the power to do Your will. [Phil. 2:12-14]
"I give You my body and each of its members... my entire inner being: my mind, my emotional life, my will... my loved ones... my marriage... my abilities and gifts... my strengths and weaknesses ... my health... my status... my possessions... my past, my present, and my future... when and how I'll go Home.
"I'm here to love You, to obey You, to glorify You. O my Beloved, may I be a joy to You!" |
My Church, Favorite Cause and Favorite Songs
Church: Grace New HopeMy Church
Above: The associate pastor of Grace New Hope, Jeff Jones and his wife Brenda.
My church Oak Hill combined with Grace New Hope in 2014, and we have been SO blessed! God is moving all over the place and I cannot wait to see how He uses this community for His glory.
I do not care about denominations. As long as a person believes in Jesus as God, it doesn't matter to me. We divide ourselves too much with words. I'm happy to say that Grace New Hope is nondenominational and acts the same way, accepting anyone.
Important links
Church website
Church facebook page - includes many photos
Scripture Promises - that I like
Thoughts on church
There is no doubt in my mind that 'Christianity' in America and the American churches are broken. I've felt this way for years. We have become an outward show of 'religion' without the inner life. It hurts. But I am confident that the Lord is able to heal any wound.
Below, are some statements made by Witness Lee about the church that resonated deeply with me as I read his book (written in 1968):
Ch. 23 of The Economy of God, "The Church - God Manifested in the Flesh"
"...I am very burdened. When I see the desperate situation of the Lord's people, I do not know what to say or what to do."
"The living God dwelling in us is not a matter of doctrine. According to their daily walk, most Christians today do not know the way of inner life and Christ as their life."
"Present Christianity is more a religion than the reality of life. The problem today is not simply a change of form outwardly, but a change of life inwardly."
"Nothing is real in the whole universe, and nothing is truth; everything is but a shadow. The reality, the life, is Jesus." (paraphrased) (1 John 5:12; John 14:6)
Ch. 24, "If you ask me what is troubling me these days, I will tell you that there are only two things: One is that although so many ... have really seen the negative things of Christianity and something about the Lord's way with His church, I am afraid that they will practice the church life by outward methods. You say, 'Formerly I pastored a church in a certain way but now I see that that way is wrong. So I will drop that way and use another way.' This is still a religious activity, not the building up of the Body of Christ. The building up of the Body of Christ is something from within. You must feed on Christ, eat Christ, and drink Christ so that you will be nourished with Christ. When you are full of Christ, you will minister something of Him as food to others. Then the Body of Christ will be built up."
Ch. 24, "We need to forget about ourselves and contact Him, enjoy Him, be regulated by Him, and anointed by Him all the time.... This is the mark of God's economy [Christ in us.] If we miss this mark of God's economy in our spirit, how can His economy be worked out in the church?"
Back to thoughts:
I do not know how to solve the church's problems, though I think the root of them lies somewhere in the above pages. I do not even understand everything I'd like to about the life that Jesus has given me. But I know He is teaching me, slowly, to know Himself. For now, I will say as Ezekiel did here...
Ezekiel 37:1-3 (My favorite Scripture passage)
"1 The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,
2 And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry.
3 And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest."
Related Scripture*Keep in mind, that Jesus never healed someone without their excercising faith. Perhaps, He's just waiting for us.
Mark 6:5-6
5 And he could there do no mighty work, save that he laid his hands upon a few sick folk, and healed them.
6 And he marvelled because of their unbelief. And he went round about the villages, teaching.
Ezekiel 37:1-14
The hand of the Lord was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the Lord, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones,
2 And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry.
3 And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live? And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest.
4 Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord.
5 Thus saith the Lord God unto these bones; Behold, I will cause breath to enter into you, and ye shall live:
6 And I will lay sinews upon you, and will bring up flesh upon you, and cover you with skin, and put breath in you, and ye shall live; and ye shall know that I am the Lord.
7 So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone.
8 And when I beheld, lo, the sinews and the flesh came up upon them, and the skin covered them above: but there was no breath in them.
9 Then said he unto me, Prophesy unto the wind, prophesy, son of man, and say to the wind, Thus saith the Lord God; Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe upon these slain, that they may live.
10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.
11 Then he said unto me, Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel: behold, they say, Our bones are dried, and our hope is lost: we are cut off for our parts.
12 Therefore prophesy and say unto them, Thus saith the Lord God; Behold, O my people, I will open your graves, and cause you to come up out of your graves, and bring you into the land of Israel.
13 And ye shall know that I am the Lord, when I have opened your graves, O my people, and brought you up out of your graves,
14 And shall put my spirit in you, and ye shall live, and I shall place you in your own land: then shall ye know that I the Lord have spoken it, and performed it, saith the Lord. |
Maude Severe: Haitian OrphanageThere is no better example of a hero of the faith to me than my friend, Maude.
Maude Severe is a member of our small church, Oak Hill Baptist, and native to Haiti. She visited her sister in Haiti shortly after the disaster, and found hundreds of kids living and starving on the streets, many without clothes.
Her sister took in 18 of them, and ever since, Maude has been working two jobs 60+ hours a week to support them, sending money and supplies to her sister. She pays for the kids to have a school teacher and a cook, three small meals a day, beds and bedding, etc. A friend of hers, Regine Rollie, is also working similarly, sending money. She wanted to do something for at least some of them.
Since then, our church learned of what she was doing, and has been pitching in to help. Her orphanage has grown to house 23 kids. She is trying to save enough money to buy some property in the country, away from the city, so that the kids will have a safer, nicer place.
She will need more help and money than our church alone can give, and she has been touring around to other churches. She is currently collecting school supplies, books and materials.
I have been trying to send her kids books in French - mostly children's literature, since books are a huge passion of mine. If you are interested, please, donate to her most excellent cause, or send books of your own! Nothing could make me happier.
Important links:
1) Her website (in progress): Hope4thefuturenow.org
2) Youtube video about the Taste of Nations fundraiser for Maude at Oak Hill. Includes Maude and many of my friends at church discussing the orphanage.
3) Discussion of her work
4) Maude's Blog
5) Her sponsor a child page
6) Her facebook Cause page
7) Pictures of her Haiti trip in April/May 2012 here and here.
8) Pictures of her Haiti trip in October/November 2012 here and here. Favorite Spiritual Songs:Life song:
Mark Altrogge, One Pure and Holy Passion
Special Favorites
Rich Mullins, If I Stand and Live version
Regular Favorites
I Have a Maker |
Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby: more about a relationship with God
*An excerpt
Intro, God's Invitation
God is not a concept or a doctrine. He is a Person who seeks a close, one-on-one relationship with you and me. God does not want us to merely believe in Him, He wants to relate to us on a personal level. He does not just want to hear us recite prayers. He wants to converse with us. God’s plan is not to abandon Christians once are born again, leaving us to build the best life we can. He does not intend that we simply use our wits to “get by,” to bravely “survive” until we are finally ushered into heaven. God wants to be actively involved in our lives each day.
God knows what your life can become. Only He understand your full potential as His child. He does not want you to miss out on anything He has for you. I believe that within the heart of every Christian in an innate desire to know God and to do His will.
When you became a Christian, you were immediately adopted as a child of the heavenly king. The king’s business became your business. And now, as your Savior and Lord, Christ wants to bring your life into the middle of His activity, which offers salvation to every person on earth. God Himself will give you the desire to serve and obey Him. The Holy Spirit will create within you a longing to know the Father’s will and to become involved in what God is doing around you. Yet God has far more in store for your life than merely giving you an assignment to accomplish for Him. He wants you to have an intimate love relationship with Him that is real and personal. Jesus said: “This is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and the One You have sent – Jesus Christ” (John 17:3).
Eternal Life - Now
The essence of eternal life – and the heart of this book is for you to personally know God the Father and Jesus Christ, His Son. Knowing God does not come through a program, a study, or a method. It is the result of a vibrant, growing, one-on-one relationship with God. Within this intimate connection, God will reveal Himself, His purposes, and His ways so you can know Him in deeper and profound dimensions. As you relate to Him, God will invite you to join in His activity where He is already at work. When you obey what God tells you, He will accomplish through you things only He can do. As the Lord works in and through your life, you will come to know Him ever more closely.
Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life and have it in abundance” (John 10:10). Would you like to experience life in its fullest and richest dimensions? You may, if you are willing to respond to God’s invitation to enjoy an intimate love relationship with Him.
Prerequisite: A Saving Relationship with Jesus Christ
The pages that follow assume that you have already trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior and acknowledged Him to be the Lord of your life. If you have not made this most important decision, the rest of this book will have little meaning for you because spiritual matters can only be understood by those who have the Spirit of Christ dwelling within them. Scripture says: “The natural man does not welcome what comes from God’s Spirit, because it is foolishness to him; he is not able to know it since it is evaluated spiritually” (1 Cor. 2:14).
Perhaps you were baptized as an infant. Or you may have regularly attended church since you were a child. You have even be a leader in your church. Baptism, worship attendance, and church involvement are all appropriate, obedient responses to a relationship with God. However, they do not create or replace the relationship. Was there an occasion when you repented to God for your sins and asked Christ to be your Savior and Lord?
If not, then the most important thing you could possibly do right now is to obey what Scripture exhorts and settle this matter with God. Ask the Lord to speak to you as you read and consider the following Scriptures:
· Romans 3:23 – All have sinned.
· Romans 6:23 – Eternal life is a free gift of God.
· Romans 5:8 – Because of His love, Jesus paid the death penalty for your sins
· Romans 10:9-10 – Confess Jesus as your Lord and acknowledge that God raised Him from the dead.
· Romans 10:13 – Ask God to forgive your sins and trust Him to do so.
To place your faith in Jesus and receive His gift of eternal life you must:
· Recognize that God created you for a love relationship with Him. He wants yout o love Him with all your being.
· Admit you are a sinner, and that you cannot save yourself.
· Believe Jesus paid the penalty for your sin by His dearth on the cross and that He rose from the dead in victory over death.
· Confess (agree with God about) your sins that separate you from Him.
· Repent (turn away from) your sins.
· Ask Jesus to save you by His grace, which is an undeserved gift.
· Turn over the control of your life to Jesus.
If you need help, call on a minister, a deacon, an elder, or a Christian friend. If you have just made this important decision, tell someone the good news of what God has done in your life. Then share your decision with your church.