Status Report - Look at What the Lord Did!
1. That I trust the Lord to carry me and stop being overwhelmed. [check - He accomplished this abundantly on Monday.]
2. That the Lord would give me energy, His joy, and I'd really enjoy everything I'm doing, even HW problems. [check - the Lord gave me all kinds of energy and joy this week.]
3. That somehow, I can prioritize my time, get things done and stop being so panicked about it. An addendum to that: that the Lord would help me study for the midterm and get my presentation done, as well as plan the new experiments I need to do in the Lynn lab, which I have no idea how to do yet. [Partial check - I'm not currently as panicked; however, midterm studying and presentation is still to be accomplished. I wanted to start on experiments. Instead, I had an ephiphany of understanding of what Dr. Lynn wants, which is probably even better and what I needed more.]
4. That I would spend time with the Lord every day no matter what, see what He wants me to see, be constantly aware of Him and move to His leadership. [He has helped me see things this week I didn't expect and also spend time with Him. I feel much better when I do and it's helped a lot.]
5. That John would get better, we could actually spend time together and be more balanced; the Lord would bless the trip and also I'd get some work done during it. [John has gotten better. We spent lots of awesome time together on the trip and I no longer feel stressed about missing him. The Lord blessed our trip STUPIDLY. Good grief. John got 41st in the LCQ. Brian at least made it past the first round i the Invitational and we're pretty sure he placed 4th. I won an entire painted Convergence army and a tray to carry them. I also got some work done on the trip. Not nearly as much as I wanted. But the trip's not over yet! I'm going to try to get done some more in the car. Wish me luck.]
Awed and thankful - more requests:
1) I need to get my presentation for bioorganic done ASAP. I present on Wednesday. Pray I'm not nervous and I get it done so that I'm HAPPY with it and don't feel like it's junk.
2) I need to get all my orgo TA stuff graded ASAP.
3) I NEED to get a lot more studying in for the biomolecular midterm - I would like to do a LOT and have peace about it that I put in my best efforts. Pray the Lord gives me the WILL and the time to do it in both.
Thank you. Thank you for praying and fighting for me. I need to ask Him what He wants prayed for. I have, but I haven't spent enough time with Him to really listen for His answer. I'll let you know.
John and I have made it through a LOT worse than this. We've been through thick and thin, horrible crushing stress and we've always made it just fine. We're both solid people and we stick together. We love each other and are thoroughly devoted to each other and their success. In grad school, I'm living my dream and having the time of my life even with the stressful days. So far, I've only reached about 70% of the maximum work I ever did in undergrad. Between 60 - 80% depending. And my stress levels have been only 50% of what I had back then. I'm talking about UGA mostly - though my sophomore year at Oxford first semester was really hard.
I had whole months of time at UGA in which I dreaded coming to lab every day. I forgot why I loved science. I was constantly living under a cloud of stress and fear. There's no fear at Emory - just clear skies. No burdening weight of dread. The stress at Emory is just not the same. There's no bite to it. At UGA, I worked every day coming home exhausted and then worked some more until I couldn't hold a pen. I DIDN'T see John, so that even he had a nervous breakdown. I'm not currently doing that. So don't think that I'm dying when I occasionally get depressed. I'm not. It's just a slump. I'll pull out. And when I do, I forget I was ever depressed. I love you guys. Don't worry about me. <3
Love, Jess :)
P.S. Also pray the Lord gives Mr. McCormick extra help for his labs today since I'm disappointing him again and won't be there. I warned him of this last night and confirmed it just now. I should have warned him sooner and really feel horrible. I want to find some way to make it up to him but not sure I can. Pray he's not mad. Our GPS is putting us getting back at 10 p.m.
10:05 pm EST
Please pray for the Lord to shelter me. I need strength and wisdom from Him. I'm confused, tired, sad and feel like a noodle. I can't wait to spend time with Him tomorrow morning. I really really need it.
12:47 am EST
Home at last!! Got here at 12:28 am. Feeling better. The Lord showed me important things and resolved others. Found some great songs that I'll post tomorrow.