Monday: a note written upon much tiredness
It's this library. I like it because it's really quiet and peaceful. I don't know what kind of library it is, but I realized sitting there at a desk between these shelves that it was surrounded by these HUGE, old Bibles and I thought that was appropriate. Although, huge old Bibles like that always make me feel a little sad, because it doesn't look as if anyone is reading them. But they felt like friends.
I read Matthew 12-13 and about praying unceasingly, Brother Lawrence's life example, and how one could do that by praying for everyone you met or saw in a day - a very good idea. I tried to do this, but I did get bogged down and forget during my lab TA, I think.
I was asking the Lord, have been asking Him, to help me be very close to Him - just, all the time - I want that so incredibly much, and need it. He was - today, I could feel His Presence. I pray that He helps me be closer to Him even more.
2. The sky looked full of awesome; the sun felt like the Lord smiling
The sun was so nice today and the wind - it felt - amazing. The fall always feels the most amazing to me. I found another hammer head worm on the pavement. They really do slither like snakes. I found other worms too. One was longer than my shoe practically.
3. Just enough time
I went to class and it was actually very interesting. After that, I read some. Then I had just enough time to go to orgo TA meeting, write Ian a protocol and answer a lab TA student's questions before lunch. I had tea and turkey sandwich - very good.
4. Good conversation
Had a good conversation with Khalid today and Ian got to come in and discuss things - I like hearing his thoughts - he has interesting ideas, better than mine sometimes. I had been stressed out, uncertain I should talk to Khalid at all, and half decided I wouldn't, because my data wasn't really worthy of showing him. But, he was quite nice and talked to me about it anyway. He didn't seem annoyed and discussing it resulted in some thoughts I hadn't fully considered, so I was glad I did. It usually always turns out that way - I can't remember regretting talking to Khalid ever.
I was very happy that he said I had a good lab notebook and some of my gels looked nice. He also didn't think it was likely my bad data was due to lack of carefulness - though I'm still not so sure about that - he has more confidence in me than I do - I'm very honored. It makes me want to work extra hard to make certain his confidence is not misplaced. I hope I wasn't too much of a bother. I always worry about that. I felt so much better and less stressed afterward - it was a long, casual and very de-stressing conversation. Just what I needed. I won't always count on Khalid having time for such things - I don't want to make a habit of expecting such. But, when it happens, it's really, really great.
I was wondering why I was feeling so exhausted at 3:30 p.m. I forgot. John got home at 3 a.m. last night because traffic from TN was absolutely terrible, and I totally didn't sleep at all. This made more sense. I worked on some calculations for a while, b/c I was mad at them and fixed them - my notebook is more fixed now. Then got a latte and a cinnamon roll - this guy was eating one in orgo TA meeting and it looked so good - that latte really helped me, uncharacteristically.
Lab TA was slightly scary because Lulu wasn't there and so I had to grab students for the GC part, which she would have taken care of, and improvise, but it worked out. I prayed about it. The Lord helped. I think she had an interview. Mr. McCormick just forgot to get me another TA this week. But, he made up for it by hanging around a lot and helping me answer student questions. Two students stayed over 30 min extra unfortunately, but they were really happy that they finally got their data. This one guy had trouble getting his liquid to boil - I think he just was being conservative turning up the heat. He was so excited when it actually boiled. Tom the prep guy helped me out a lot today.
I was depressed coming home, but I think that's just because I was so tired. When I'm overtired, sometimes this happens. I just prayed about things, a lot. I just really wanted the Lord so much, that I ached. Sometimes, I want Him - more of Him - so much that the pain is terrible, like a vacuuming sucking out my insides. He finally gave me peace though. I ate fish and spaghetti when I got home and Oma sat and talked with me. Now I'm going to bed, and so thankful to sleep. I think tomorrow will be a good day. I'm going to try to buy some pumpkins.
Sorry that I haven't anything really fascinating to say. It was a beautiful day today though. That's what counts. And it was peaceful. And I had fun in it, doing science and just - I don't know - enjoying everything. The Lord was in it. I could feel Him. And that's always so incredibly comforting, like feathers, kittens and sunshine, and makes me so happy. ~ Jessica